Favorite Olympic Moment

Matt Lauer is charming, self-effacing, and constantly improving as an interviewer.

Mr. Lauer, may you have many more healthy and happy years to come.

That having been said, Lauer (or someone in his ear) created my first Golden Moment of the 2008 Olympic Games.

The opening night of the Olympics, with its parade of nations, gives each one of us a chance to learn about the world beyond our borders, and about the people, cultures and history all around our planet.

That’s why I was so delighted to learn from Matt, as the team from Malawi entered the stadium, that we’ll recognize Malawi because that’s the country where Madonna built an orphanage.

So, if you’re scoring at home, that’s Greece, birthplace of the ancient Olympics, Turkey, crossroads between Asia and Europe, and Malawi, where Madonna did some nice things.

Ooh. Here comes Norway. Don’t bore me with stories of Valhalla and Odin and Thor. Don’t tell me about Norwegian resistance in World War II. Just tell me—what does Leonardo di Caprio think of it?

We learn so much from the stars.

Beijing! Awhawww ....Mmmm!!!

In the Simpsons episode "Lisa Gets an A," Homer buys a small lobster named Pinchy, and brings him home to fatten him up, to eventually have a large lobster dinner.

Homer becomes attached to his red friend, and when it comes time to eat him, Homer cries as he remembers their friendship, and then says “Mmmm” after every bite, because the lobster is so delicious. “Aw-haww...Mmmm! Aw-hawww....Mmmm!”

It’s the experience I had watching Beijing’s opening ceremonies to the 2008 Olympics. Boy is that beautiful—my God, they’re so repressive. Gee, look at all the people who worked on that— How many of them at gunpoint?

Look at the beautiful children of China— whose parents needed a permit to have them in the first place! Such strong and limber gymnasts—what happened to the kids who didn’t make the cut? Are they in camps somewhere?

How lovely… there’s the symbol for peaceful unity… and there’s the symbol for Walmart!